Me 2007


From Emma's story, SCORNED, page 56. Been posted before, I think... But it's different now. Better, I hope.

There’s a laugh outside the stall door. ‘Mike’ is closer than I thought. Steve appreciates his audience; his smile is full of smug achievement.

Wait… What had he said before? ‘Send that note’?

Shoulders slump, eyes half close, head tilts down… I’m trapped; I’m trapped; I’m trapped.

Steve's hand is hot yet soft against my face, brushing back my messed hair, but it's not relaxed. The violence won't wait for long.

“Don’t worry.” His voice is sick with reassurance. “He’ll make sure no one comes in. See, this is all about you knowing one thing—you will pay for what your mom’s done.”

His voice becomes stronger now, angry again, but he checks it. "She had no business coming here." Doesn’t let it get too loud. Loud voices echo in bathrooms. “That job was meant for my dad and she knew it.”

His eyes have that crazy thing going on, like they’re amped with a thousand volts—not made any prettier by the swelling, the shot veins, or by his bruise’s purples, reds, and browns. But there’s more… Like he's pleading for me to believe him. Like he wants me to agree that I deserve his rage. Then his eyes go dead and as cold as his voice.

“She’s nothing,” he states. “Nothing. My dad should be in that office right now—not some clam loving freak!” The last word rings. He quiets a bit.

“You see this black eye? Do you?” He slams my head against the wall. My involuntary wince is his only reward. But it’s not enough for Steve.

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Me 2007


Just a female character.

You think, "Age 15."

Add hair color, etc.

Add a name, too.

And now she's dressed a certain way.


Because it fits her personality, of course.

But what is her personality?

She like heights... Being with friends... Poetry... Can't stand the sight of blood... She's strong-willed and has leader potential, but... She doesn't lead. The women in her life are meaningful. The men in her life? Disappointing. She remains unbalanced (as many teens are), but there is hope for emotional growth and that ever eluding equilibrium.

That's what you know.

And you know she's a... What? Spitfire? Maybe, but she's not snarky.

And now she's talking.

And only you can hear her.

And at that same time, your fingers tingle.


Because you know you can share her words.

If you write them down.

A paragraph.

A page.

A chapter.

She's all right there.

A female 'character' no more.

She's something else now...

She's real.

All because of you.


You spun her and wove her and spelled her.

Look at you....

Magic Maker.

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Me 2007

Happy Paraskevidekatraphobia Day!

If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck. (Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy, and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names.)

Okay. So I don't have a clue who Albert De Salvo is, but he can't be a very nice guy if he's hangin' out in a clique like that.

And guess what... You might as well add 'Kelsey Johnson' to that not-so-lucky list. Great. Just great. This explains a lot.

But then I got married! And I added 'Defatte'!

Okay... So yeah... I mean, the pre-trial's set for the upcoming divorce--which some might consider bad luck--but I ain't changin' it back! So there. Bad luck gone.

How many letters are in YOUR name?

Wait. Back it up... Why is Friday the 13th unlucky? I mean, besides the 13 letters thing....

I mean, if the number 13 itself is unlucky, wouldn't any 13th day of the month be bad luck? Why Friday?

Unless... I mean, if you think about it... (And I clearly have....)

Fry Day.

And any day which announces itself as the DAY to FRY is, in and of itself, bad luck.

And let me tell you, by the end of the week, I really am quite fried. So, that explains that.

But why is 13 unlucky? I mean, it's a baker's dozen, right? And a little extra something from a baker has got to be 'lucky', right?

And, if you get an extra 'fried' donut....

See? No bad luck at all!



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Me 2007


I love love. I do.

I love the shades of red and pink... I love the bling and the chocolates....
I mean, come on! Valentine's Day is by far the most girly-girl-girly-est of holidays. Pretty in Pink all over the place, baby! No, not THAT Pretty In Pink. Okay, yes. THAT Pretty In Pink.
But besides that....

The holiday, by it's very lovey-dove romantic nature, is not so fond of solo celebrators.

Hence the 'hate'.

I mean, don't you feel it, too? That need for a romantic Valentine?

One that I don't have.

And yes, I do realize that I'm totally wrapped up in the over-exposed, media-exploited-ness of it all. And no, I'm not alone out there... But in my head, well, there's just me in there. We think. I mean, 'I' think.

Anyway, to make matters worse, the soon-to-be ex most certainly DOES have a Valentine. Grrr....

Honestly though, do I want HIM as my Valentine? LORD NO!

But I am a bit jealous... Like sibling rivalry or something. Does that make sense? Maybe it doesn't even need to... But seriously. Why does HE get a Valentine and I don't?! Grrr... But then again, a lot of me really doesn't care. I'm sure she's a nice enough woman... Her interloping ended up being my godsend, really. So I do honestly wish her a nice Valentine's Day. I mean, there's a certain amount of gratitude there. As for him... Valentine's Day was never quite what I'd hoped it would be, and it wasn't even worth celebrating the last couple of times... So I can't really feel one way or the other about it. Yeah. That's about right. It kind of feels like a big where he's concerned.

Good. That's better.

But I still wish I had a romantic Valentine.

Like, just for the day, since I'm not interested in any boyfriend responsibilities right now. Worse than puppies, I swear. But I suppose girlfriend responsibilities aren't much better. Hee, hee.

So... Since a romantic Valentine isn't really my true desire this year, I will gladly forget the romance side of Valentine's Day and think more about the love we have for friends and family.

I will order a heart-shaped ice cream cake from Dairy Queen and a couple of heart-shaped pizzas from Rocky Rococo's, and I will celebrate with my family--me, my boys, and my parents. Maybe I can even get my grandma and grandpa to join in on the fun. We'll have our own party, and I'll feel the love--just like I always do from my family.

And friends? Oh, I love them all... My friends at home, at work, in LJ Land, and abroad.

So this Saturday I promise I will think of each of you and send you each a friendly smooch.

Hope you think of me, too.

And, now that I think of it, maybe I'll even buy myself some fresh flowers. (Monkey not included.)

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Me 2007


It's a trailer park, okay. It's by a train yard. 'Natch.


Where I live, I hear the whistle blow

Air pushing through the slotted metal




It says, “Beware my wheels that cut like knives, rumbling over iron tracks. Beware.”

It says, “Make way, frail things. Make way. I barrel through. I barrel.”

Where I live, I see the trains

Their hulking cars long and dark




Each says, “Clasp me, lock me, back to back, need to go. Make me go.”

Each says, “Want to follow, want to move. Let’s go!”

Where I live, I fear their place

The place below where those steely beasts roam




I say, “I’ll look from here, above and safe. Here I’m safe.”

I say, “I feel the pull, to be down there, to ride with you. I want to go.”

“Let’s go!”
“Let’s go!”
“Let’s go!”

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Me 2007


Rules: Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real . . . nothing made up! You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

01. What is your name:

02. A four Letter Word: Kink

03. A boy's Name: My name IS a boy’s name, but I’ll choose…
The name Killian comes from Irish origin meaning strife or battle; fierce.

04. A girl's Name: My name works well as a girl’s name, but I’ll choose…
The name Keira comes from Irish origin meaning dusky; dark-haired.

05. An occupation: Killer. Yikes! It might be safer just being a kaleidoscope manufacturer. Less prison time.

06. A color: Kelly green (Like an apple green, not so bad.) or Khaki (Like beige, like b-o-r-i-n-g!)

07. Something you wear: Kilt. (Okay, I don't personally wear a kilt, but....)

00: Explanation for why there’s no #8: Eight angry Klingons captured the 8 and ate it.

09. A food: Kiwi

10. Something found in the bathroom: Kotex. Well?

11. A place: Kenya

12. A reason for being late: “Sorry I’m late—I’m still getting over a bad case of Kaliopenia.” (No, it’s not some rare dysfunction of the penis. Geesh! It’s just an insufficiency of potassium. Geesh! Again!)

13. Something you shout: Kutta kameena! (It mean 'son of a b**ch'. What? I often swear in Hindi.)

14. A movie title: Kramer vs Kramer. Never actually saw it. When it came out in 1979, I was…9. Not much interest in it then, not much interest in it now. Though I hear it was good….

15. A word to describe YOU: Kinetic

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Me 2007



Velvet… Velcro… Euphoric… Electric… Mind numbing… Mind exploding… When a kiss works.

I swear I’ve never done drugs. Gotten drunk? Okay, we won’t go there, but the whole true drug thing? Never. But I also swear that getting high can’t be any better than this right now—his lips on mine.

Am I supposed to think 'beautiful'? 'Heavenly'? 'Butterflies'? I'm not. It's more like, every trashy romance book… Every soft porn flick on Showtime… It’s all right here in my hormones and his. I can’t want anything else but to feel him…to be him. This is the magic that stops common sense—that makes babies from two tiny squishy things colliding and dividing. This is why parents worry… Why preachers preach… This soul-consuming, horrifying magic… This kiss.

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Me 2007


Christian Bale has a temper tantrum. Sounds like a couple of customer service calls I've received... No biggie to me, I can't help but laugh. What power that lighting guy has! Just hear the swear words fly! That lighting guy has the amazing ability to actually disrupt a professional actor's mojo during an action film--that's power. Listen to how easily he turns up the blood pressure on American Psycho, Christian Bale... I said it once, I'll say it many more times... Amazing! F bombs left and right and all for one little lighting guy! I laughed out loud. You have to... I get these kind of calls at work--what power I have! Little ol' me did all of that? I am amazing! Lighting guy... YOU are amazing.


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